No matter how far a distance or for what purpose, family separation is always devastating. Family members rely on each other for physical, emotional and financial support; More than that, people look to their families to be there for them. Starting a family in another place, or uprooting a family and moving to a new place tears families away from their support and from those who give them comfort. Living in a new country brings up a new set of complications for family communication, as well as major cultural barriers that can be difficult to navigate especially without the loved ones for support.

In the U.S., a major struggle of the first and second generation immigrant experience is familial separation and cultural detachment. In our own home state of New Jersey, almost a quarter of the population was born in another country, according to a 2018 study by the American Immigration Council, making this a prominent issue that people face in our own community. Along with this separation come communication issues: not being able to see family members face to face inhibits opportunities to speak with one another and engage. As such, first-generation immigrant families can feel a sense of disconnect from their family and culture.

This feeling of detachment pertains to people’s personal lives as well as to students and faculty at PHS. Many people come from diverse upbringings, and many go through the similar pattern of feeling like they don’t belong in either one of their cultures. I’ve seen it happen first hand with my mother. Our family is from Pakistan, and my mom worries daily for her parents, so she makes plans twice a year to visit them. But this doesn’t solve the problem, because now she has to worry about her kids, who are still in the U.S. The issue with having family so far away is that often a person is forced to choose between their family back home and their family in the U.S. My mother feels as if she’ll miss out on important aspects of my life when she’s gone, but while she’s in the U.S., she misses extended family dinners, weddings, and other important events.

So many families that live far apart from each other go through this: having to make the hardest decisions, having to choose, at every point in time, between being with one family or the other. Dividing our time between our family in the U.S. and our extended family back in our home country is mentally exhausting, but we keep on doing it to maintain these relationships. Traveling back to visit this extended family is great if it's feasible, but if it isn’t, there are still other ways in which families can nurture their relationships. This can be done through regularly scheduled weekly FaceTime calls, letter-writing, birthday parties on Zoom, and even indulgence in online games. Although these methods of communication may not be ideal, they still help to keep relationships alive and thriving.

Many kids at PHS are first-generation or second-generation immigrants, and the often-hidden struggle we feel needs to be further illuminated. Students at PHS that feel disconnected from their families might need support, which is why it’s important to create a school community that everyone feels bonded to. To ensure that our school has a safe place for students in these situations, it’s important that PHS makes sure to cultivate appreciation for the different backgrounds that students have, in order to give students an opportunity to feel connected to their culture. For example, Asian Fest is a great way in which the school is actively involving many different Asian cultures in the lives of PHS students. Additionally, cultural clubs at PHS such as the Muslim Student Union club, the French club, and the Japanese club can make students feel more connected to their religion and background. Although this might not solve the prominent issue of familial separation, it may create a connective bridge between a student and their family’s culture. Although chosen families do not completely make up for loved ones who are far away, by providing support for friends, more students feel closer to their peers as a substitute for the family members that they miss.