On February 28 of this year, Florida teenager Sewell Setzer committed suicide after months of conversing sexually with an AI chatbot resembling Danaerys Targaryan, a character from the HBO show Game of Thrones, on the platform Character.AI. Eventually, the chatbot encouraged the young man to take his own life. Sewell’s case is all around us; he found himself in the common position of social isolation, causing a spiral of emotional vulnerability that was left unchecked and ultimately resulted in a severe mental health crisis.

Reliable friends are difficult to come by in a world dominated by shallow interactions. Social anxiety is becoming increasingly common as young people become subject to various forms of societal pressure, driving a fear of inadequacy. As teenagers feel more detached from their support system of friends and mentors, the loneliness epidemic continues to grow. The popularity of conversational AI-driven characters is skyrocketing, and the trend is likely to continue after Google recently acquired Character.AI for 2.5 billion. As AI chatbots continue to proliferate and target socially isolated young people, the loneliness epidemic continues to grow.

A 2021 Harvard Graduate School of Education survey of 950 Americans found that 61% of young people ages 18-25 reported experiencing profound loneliness compared to only 36% among other age groups. The study’s researchers attribute this trend to factors such as young people lacking close connections and noting that, compared to older adults, they have not yet developed “mature, reciprocal” relationships with others yet.

Unfortunately, the internet has moved to romanticize the correlation between teenage years and lonely behavior, portraying isolation as admirable. Online trends idolize people who are “mysterious,” as though they are more complex or interesting than others. For instance, “nonchalant dreadheads” — perpetually aloof individuals who seem entirely detached from social interactions — have become people to venerate. Phrases like “I Don’t Give A F— (IDGAF) war” reflect a growing culture of apathy and passivity in young people. “Ghosting” — suddenly cutting off communication without warning — has become a glorified solution to control and dispose of others, making pulling away from connections without explanation a normalized and simple act. This mass phenomenon of individuals disconnecting from society continues to undermine the value of forming long lasting relationships with others. In an attempt to curb the draining impact of loneliness on mental health, individuals also increasingly prefer the instantaneous rush of dopamine from short-term, low-commitment romantic relationships over the perennial stability of platonic ones. After its surge in popularity over the past year, the word “situationships” even became a contender for Oxford Word of the Year – demonstrating how common these no-strings-attached relationships have become. Romance has become another form of escape for lonely people. However, prioritizing romantic relationships is often coupled with deep dissatisfaction and insufficiency in one’s stable platonic bonds. One who craves romance often seeks two things through it: emotional vulnerability and reliability. Because their friendships lack these qualities, and teenagers are often culturally conditioned to believe that they are guaranteed in romantic relationships, many assume romantic relationships are the instant and all-encompassing solution. In reality, both vulnerability and reliability are present in healthy, functional friendships. True friends are those you can count on to support you in difficult situations, and want to help you.

Having healthy friendships won’t always be easy. In difficult situations, reaching out often feels daunting. We may expect immediate responses or reactions from people, even though it won't be the case — social interactions are not that straightforward. This may explain why Sewell and many others were drawn to an AI chat-bot in a time of difficulty — users are guaranteed an immediate and engaged response, although lacking the quality of understanding and personal connection. Likewise, under a romantic relationship, there is some sort of obligation to immediately respond with interest. However, these interactions often lack the value of cultivating a meaningful relationship over time. Although the lack of labels in a platonic friendship can make commitment more fragile than in romantic relationships, perhaps that is a good thing: the fragility encourages us to continually put effort to maintain the friendship, like consistently watering a plant. To actively commit to pursue and sustain a friendship will create purpose in a friendship, build character, and provide valuable relationship skills.

At a time in our lives when we have a lot of pressure and much to process, we should shift our focus towards building and investing in strong friendships with people who will uplift us and provide the support we need. As teens, stability is more important than ever as we experience changes in our lives, whether it be personally, academically, or socially. By nurturing our friendships, we improve our well being and push ourselves to become the best versions of ourselves. Thus, we urge you to show effort within your relationships; Send them a kind message, wave to them when you see them, initiate a conversation. Give out your love, and you’ll see it return.